Nearly There?

I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING

WHERE IS THE SCRIPT

I USED TO BE ATTRACTIVE MUCH MORE CAPABLE

I WILL LOOK MEANINGFUL AND I WILL SHOW MY LEGS

I DONT WANT TO BE MISERABLE

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING REAL ON STAGE

SUCCESS HAS GONE OUT OF THE WINDOW

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO

Look at Us, Just Look at Us

Look at Us

Just Look at Us

We must be joking

We must be having a laugh

How did I get my foot in the door?

Who let us loose on the stage?

Bad Orchestra, 13 August 2009

Weds 12 July

I have wanted to make work with song in it for quite some time. As this seems to be the piece where I am throwing caution to the wind, today we start to sing. I ask Alex to compose a simple melody that we can harmonise to and we steal some words from Wendy’s NERVOUS NUMBER text:

LOOK OUT AND ASK FOR HELP

I CAN SEE FROM THE WAY YOU WATCH

THIS IS GOING TO BE – SPECIAL

I TREMBLE AND I HESITATE

The result is so on the edge of being completely appalling, that I imagine there must be something in it worth pursuing. PK and Alex like it so that’s good enough for me. Henry’s not so sure!

I give everyone a list of what they need to ‘get through’ in the next hour or so, on top of which

Using what sketches of materials we have generated we perform a structured improvisation

I ask Henry to take people hostage within the impro

I ask Alex to score his way through it

I ask PK to concentrate on getting through a long list of texts in different forms, including a panic attack

I ask Janusz and Carly to busk their way through what little material they have and make up the rest.

They get through it and some interesting scenes emerge. Feeling a need to start working in more detail, I decide to use what happened in this improv as the basis for emerging ‘episodes’, dissecting what happened, mapping the actions and recreating it in detail over the next 2 days so repeatable ‘scenes’ can start to emerge.

Tuesday 11 August

We create the QUIZ SHOW FOR THE BODY that Wendy has sent us, setting up Carly and Janusz as dancers who don’t know what they are doing or why, or where they are or what is expected of them. PK and Alex accompany with cheerful plucked music as the quiz slides out of control and the dancers retract to the back wall, embarrassed, ashamed, undone. Too easy?

Carly makes a phrase from a CALLING DANCE text, and with a bit of editing, a phrase that can be repeated over and over with an intervention from Alex.

Janusz creates a phrase with a STEP TO IT text that Claire Macdonald wrote ages ago after initial discussions in Sussex about this work. He works with a microphone in one hand and complicated foot patterns, accompanied by cello later in the week.

PK works on a text that starts acoustically in the shadows and emerges into the light, to which Henry dances and Alex plays cello.

10 August 2009

Janusz arrives from Posnan and Carly from London and the atmosphere shifts again. I am not sure yet whether a constantly evolving cast helps or hinders my own creative process. A devising process staggered into three weekly chunks of time with each performer means I have to hold much real and imagined data in my head as we work – imagining Scott here and Val there whilst working with everyone else. Aurora’s devising process feels like a long time ago. She has given birth to a baby girl (a week or so overdue) and is doing well. She was expecting to come over on 6^th September, but I wonder if this is realistic now - I hope she isn’t worrying too much about work and enjoying her first few weeks with her daughter.

My approach to making this piece has shifted this week. I have been in a mental and emotional fog of prescribed drugs since I started making work with Aurora and I have now finished the course and seem to be seeing straight again.

I reflect on how each performer seems to be turning up with quite a strong personal agenda for making this particular piece of work. Some would really rather work alone. Some really don’t want to be touched or manhandled. Some want to feel connected to the group. Some want to be out on a limb. Some don’t want to do partner work. Some feel it’s time to lay down the instruments they are expert at playing. Some would rather be down the pub. Most like to play and improvise. Again questions of free will and coercion – what does the piece need? Am I not being clear enough? In allowing more space and freedom for people to work things out for themselves within a process, am I being less of a director? How much direction to give experienced practitioners? Am I just providing a frame for their own explorations? What will we be left with? Where is the sense of ensemble? Will that come in September when we all reconvene to finish making and structuring the work? Am I giving people enough rope to hang themselves with?

Carly and Janusz arrive and there are expectations from me for more movement. Henry will spend the week consolidating his materials before leaving for three weeks. He is studious and independent in his approach, very clear about what he likes and doesn’t like, what he is willing and not willing to do on stage. He works things out for himself in relation to what is going on around him and doesn’t seem to equate dancing with ‘feeling’ anything- he has more of a functional approach somehow. Janusz is hoping not to do any duets this year – and I rather annoyingly ask him to create a wall duet with Carly on the first day he arrives. I can feel his dismay at being asked to create such a thing (again) but we need some material that serve this function and it’s a useful way to get Carly (who I haven’t worked with before) into the thick of it.

We play under the lights imagining the light as water falling on different parts of the body.

We develop a motif for PK that she is shocked every time the light falls on her face.

We develop circular patterns that may be useful to create the ‘storm’ I’ve been planning.

We describe a dance we have always wanted to make.

We read out loud several comical dances (from Italy, North London, Constantinople) that Wendy has written for us to try. We try them out. They are pretty bad.

PK starts work on a LOOK AT ME text.

We talk about rituals and repetition, about leaving a mark and the translation of movement into sound.

Wall Wipe / Panic Attack

wall wipe dance

panic attack

I Nevers / Counting texts

3-7th August

Alex's score dance - double jointed shoulders and arthritic knees lead to a broken down composer's dance, scraping along the back wall, fighting to score notes on the wall as Henry steadily draws the stave.

A ladder comes in handy for staging your own death, using text as wallpaper, breaking up the space.

Long Days Ahead

I ask Alex to musically score sonic events on the back wall. I like the way it looks. I think this and Aurora's drawing may both add an interesting graphic aspect to the work. the board looks beautiful when it has been cleaned. Alex plays dead. Henry plays dead.

Henry, Alex and Patrycja, 3 August 2009

We are now in the process of making a show, because when I mention these words in the studio people seem to know vaguely what to do:

PUNK ROCK

STORM

GO GO GO

KILL KILL KILL

I NEVERS

TAI CHI DANCE

SONG INTRO

GOOSE CHASE

SUCKY DANCE

LOOK AT ME

NERVOUS NUMBER

RANT

GLANCE DANCE

CRACKPOT

PETRONIO

PHOTO TEXT

DRAWING DANCE

WALL WIPE

WATERMARKS

ENIGMA DANCE

PISSING

HOSTAGE

ABU GHRAIB

SHORT PAUSE

PANIC ATTACK

Henry, Val and Alex, 29 July 2009

Henry is a calming independent presence. He suggests that he does not connect with the darker texts Wendy has written (following conversations with me). He would rather focus on rhythm of the writing. Years of practice show in his approach to the works on the page. Delicate, intricate movement patterns emerge in his long, lean body. Shifts of weight and small swipes carving air. Limbs that allow movement to linger in traces in the space. He generates movement fast and instinctively which looks deceptively effortless and simple. I enjoy watching him create material. He and Val create a duet with a STOP START text that Wendy has written.

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO they shriek at each other - dancing madly

AGAIN

STOP

It reminds me of my niece Sylvie who shouts AGAIN AGAIN if you hang her upside down and then stack her back up.

Game playing. We need to play more.

Henry, Val and Alex, 27 July 2009

Val returns.

Henry arrives.

Alex arrives.

Scott comes back for a few days

Valentina 20-23 July

Scott has gone.

Val is still recovering from Italian Flu and trying to buy a house in London.

Alex is delayed because his visa didn't show up on time in Costa Rica.

I am struck down with Yorkshire Flu.

Val and I struggle for four days with texts that I think she can do something with.

She makes an interesting solo sucking in and swallowing words she is trying to speak. Big questions around whose works we are speaking and how to deal with text that carry my conceptual ideas which may not fit into or suit another performers' mouth.

These words are not my words.

My flu gets worse and for the first time in a long time we take Friday off and Val gets back to London a day early, ready to move house.

I spend three days in bed (sponsored by Kleenex tissues).

Scott's Reflections, Week 3, 13-17 July

Valentina arrived at our rehearsal process this week, so with PK, there are two other humans in the space with me. One thing that might have been slightly problematic for me so far, is that I dont have so much interest (desire) in soloing. This has been coming on the last few years for me. The clear desire to dance/perform/make sound/behave, in relationship to other people. At the very least, I seem to need objects or architecture. Otherwise, it can be difficult to find a reason or motivation for me to move. Why disturb the universe?

I crave paraphernalia.

This week has been concerned with making lists of would be materials, and trying them on in creative ways. There are some repetitions, and there are some turnings off into new prospects. As we are making hour long sessions often, it all gets mixed up in a gumbo of rehearsals and repetitions. One needs to stay alert as to what kind of signals are coming from fellow performers, in that they might be wanting to practice a specific material or scene, and need another person to perform their part, in that scene. Lots of materials generated, though as ever, how to organise them? There is also this very abstract notion (for me), of imagining how any given bit, will exist in relation to all the bits that will be made over the course of the summer, as Charlotte keeps up this process with a new performer arriving every three weeks to Begin their own process. Then in September, we all (cast) gather back in Sheffield to assemble the work. One can only imagine some things...

Its been interesting to observe Valentina as she has been inserted into an ongoing process, and has to develop coping strategies on the fly a bit. Or in other words, Charlotte and PK and I, have been accumulating and storing a bank or list of images and words and sounds and such, that we can refer to for use. I wonder if Valentina will go through any similar process when Henry arrives late in her three week period.

Lots of potential material has been discarded for the time being. Or perhaps material has been re-contextualised. In some cases, maybe its a less overt/obvious approach to material, and these bits have been allowed to simmer under the surface more, but still contribute to the gestalt. (Or something...)

Charlotte keeps mentioning, that I might be a disruptive figure the piece. Or that a persons (solo) might be in several short instalments over the course of the evening. As such, in the works we have been practicing this week, there might be several entrances and exits over the course of an hour or so.

We have been working with the set more this week, and the architecture of the space. Moving objects (chairs, mic stands, lights, bodies, texts etc) about the space.It can look afterwards, as if there has been a bit of a storm or disruption in the stage space. at times, I have felt disruptive myself, and have had images of breaking lights, or asking difficult questions (rhetorical?) and such. I have managed to break a few broom sticks whilst using them for pointers on the black board. This has me feeling like some deranged CEO or professor.

Ruth (dramaturg) came in to watch and feed back this week. I think she thought it was all a bit dark maybe. I believe I heard Charlotte say that this was not unusual for this period of a making process, and that perhaps, it might lighten up later. All I can do so far, is follow my nose.

Scott's Reflections, Week 2, 6-10 July

I feel like the second week of my rehearsal period was concerned with putting into form, many of the materials we had been researching the first week. As ever, there seemed to be a riddle about how to get back into the content of the research work, and put this into repeatable forms. I often feel that getting swept up in the vibe of action/behavior, is the more interesting aspect of the product, and that the shapes of the behaviors/actions, are sort of by products or consequences of something more primary (or interesting to me anyway). I understand that this can be slippery for the purposes of choreography or repetition. ( Repetition, the French word for rehearsal).In my experiance, some things change, and some stay the same. What does one address, if not shape and duration or other quantifiable properties? Tempo, tone, etc.. Is the foot pointed or flexed? Or relaxed... New dance in my experience, often has no set syllabus, and needs its materials identified as such, in order to find a beginning point or palette from which to work.

We have been trying on several versions of text, some of which are amalgams of as many as four writers contributions by now. I am sensing a need to start back at a beginning concerning text and language. Or another doorway or approach anyway. I am thinking more and more, that the texts might not need to relate to me personally, but would reflect larger or more general concerns, Or at the least, multiple concerns or thoughts of the multiple writers. Cut ups (by way of Burroughs) have come to mind.

One thing that seems consistent for me, are the acts of accompaniment for action, with sound. This seems to give me something tangible to focus on or practice. Making sound as other people act. It seems less abstract to me than movement propositions. Dancing as such, is feeling very abstract and removed from an actual environment. On that note, its been very helpful for me to have PK in the rehearsal space this week, as there is someone else to respond to, or perceive in the space with me. As an added bonus, PK has brought a ukulele with her. Stringed instruments are right up there with puppy's at the top of a list of good things for me to involve with. Now, if someone would only show up with a puppy or two, I would be all set...

Wendy came for a day, and shook up the approach to text by suggesting we only speak the vowel sounds of the words and such. It was good to have the language ruptured, I felt.

Talks with Wendy 18 July

Talk of new RANT AND MANIFESTO texts, that can act as aspirations for continuing rather than moaning or describing what we are no longer prepared to do. Talk of a 'LOSING MY DIGNITY’ text. Talk of a 'PROMPTING' text. Talk of a 'NEUROSIS' text. Talk of 'Do we become redundant as we get older' and is that a different question for women? Talk of aging and failing physicality. How could you stage killing someone off? After a long discussion, thoughts that may help Wendy to write some new stuff for IWGO -

• Do we find ourselves where we want to be? Are we constantly adjusting ourselves to make the right impression/ fit in / become acceptable/ be part of a group / find a common language
• Perhaps the show becomes an attempt to articulate a manifesto for how to continue....
• Trying stuff out. Things standing in for things
• People co-existing in their differences of style and approach within one show
• Trying to avoid being so inward looking, but circularity is useful in the presentaion of things
• Functionality of performance – seeing performers cope with things being the driver for action
• Things seen and then reseen in different contexts with different stuff taking place at the same time – affords us to use texts more than once or vary/fragment them in order to reuse and recycle them
• Playing with the idea that performers notice that they have dug themselves into a hole on stage and the language around that
• acknowledging that narrative and emotion are inevitable in the work
• Texts that supply instructions for looking are useful

Losing Track, 13 - 17 July

Valentina arrives, recovering from possible Italian strain of Swine Flu. She had weak legs, but she lightens up the room. Harry joins us, teaches Yoga, gets involved in a long improvisation. I think he enjoyed being with experienced performers for the day...Great to see him move again.

As a way to open things up a bit, we've done several long improvisations which seem to suggest a potential, shambolic way forward for 'housing' of the fragments of material we are creating. The blackboard acting as a set of instructions, duly wiped off as the performers fulfil the tasks they set themselves at the top of the improv. It makes the performance functional. The volume of tasks is a bit overwhelming for Scott, who prefers to work on one thing at a time, but at least the more improvisational nature of this way of working offers him freedom to make choices, that when we are trying to 'set' things doesnt feel right. Lots of discussion around practice and repetition and forgetting and the need to follow a kind of score- however broad as a way to get through stuff and generate new stuff.

I spend much time pondering on how I will have to keep adapting my way of working to suit each individual performer - this is dangerous ground for me - I have to be careful not to get too sidetracked with the enquiry into that, to the detriment of creating useable material for a show that has to actually exist at some point in the near future. Lots of discussion around free will and volition - what one naturally wants to do and what one doesn't really have an appetite for. Os directing dictatorship? So much of that negotiation comes down to the roles we play in a room and so much is down to taste. My worst fear is to make boring work where nothing much happens. How to embody the work we create together?

On Friday we run some stuff for Dramaturg Ruth and it feels pretty weak, nihilistic and difficult. No hope. Very dark and unformed. Not enough light - real or otherwise. Is this shit?

Sunday Again

And the weeks fly by and I am not sure where any of this is going.

Neurosis sets in and this time it is crippling.

The days have felt heavy with circular thought this week.

I never seem to have enough time to think straight.

Yes, that gets harder as you get older.

I feel troubled that I am not working in a way that is honest to me as an artist or as a woman.

I feel paper thin. Over-exposed.

What are the things that have always defined my work? What is my 'signature'? Why this need to work so counter-intuitively now? Am I setting myself up to fail or am I paving the way to a different creative future? What am I trying to prove - that I can be as conceptually interesting as Jerome Bell, as smart and clean as Jonathan Burrows? Who do I think I am? My tendency leans towards the over-earnest, but with editing, distillation and a strong sense of self- depricating humour, I usually pull it off. I still want to affect people and the only thing that is 'affecting' me so far is Aurora's solo (built around her swelling belly and my medical imaginings) and Scott's forgetfulness - explored through a breakdown of language and a fragmented solo dance.

Keeping everything at arms length just doesn't work for me. Its too cool, too masculine perhaps? Wearing my heart on your sleeve is all I know how to do. I am a woman after all. My currency is emotion. My material and content is my emotional life. Some people think emotion is old fashioned, but is this a tyranny against what is female?

DANCE LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

If If We Go On is 'about' anything it is about exhaustion, about making sense of the choices we make in life. Circular, age-old dilemmas about working women, about trying to match a working life with a home life. About remaining childless?About having it all and failing to have it all. About having a home that isn't somewhere you just pass through in between hotel rooms.

I AM BORED OF MY OWN PROTOCOLS.

I AM SICK OF WANTING TO BE FIRST AND BEST AND HEARD ABOVE THE REST

I WANT TO BE QUIET NOW, TO ADJUST TO THE REGRET I FEEL ABOUT NOT TAKING THE TIME TO PRIORITISE OTHER THINGS

I CANNOT HAVE IT ALL

I NEED TO SATISFY SOMETHING IN ME OTHER THAN A CREATIVE DRIVE

MID LIFE CRISIS CASUALTY-

WHAT WOULD MAKE THIS BETTER?

I AM MELTING IN FRONT OF YOU

THIS IS THE LAST DANCE

THIS IS THE LAST TIME I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS - it is not good for my health

THE LAST CURTAIN CALL

THIS IS NO FICTION - THIS IS REAL, REALLY REAL

THIS IS MY (SELF OBSESSED) SWAN SONG

AND, LIKE THE CIRCUS PEOPLE, WE CARRY ON.

COME ON, DANCE LIKE YOU MEAN IT.

Scott after two weeks of rehearsals, 12 July 2009

I have put myself into the spaces provided by the design and director's suggestions, and proceeded to make improvisations. Was provided with texts, microphones, black boards and chalk among other things.

There seems to be some concern with ageing, or the ageing dancer/performer.

(what about it?)

Since I am an ageing dancer... Or since I am ageing, (who isn't). Or since I have aged. Perhaps, I am a likely candidate for this work.

We seem to have gone round a bit about the appropriate nature of a text. Do the words feel right (true?) for me etc. I have processed different opinions about this. At this point, I feel as if I might just work with whatever text is provided, rather than have an opinion about the content, as I perceive it. Like it would be a character or persona that I would occupy for the purpose of the work.

I have been interested in the act of speaking as theatrical behaviour. Or perhaps, I have been interested in the acts of making noise.

Its difficult to get jazzed about moving or dancing much, and I seem to have to almost force myself to do it. I'm feeling this produces a kind of effort- full effect. But I also am wondering if effort is a value that other people can recognise, and therefore objectify as dancing. Left to my own devices, I might roll about on the floor for too long. Or make softer movements, that would read differently. This question of effort as regards dance, is ongoing for me, and I think I might be less and less likely to produce entertaining movement behaviors, in the contemporary dance lexicon. I can't remember why to move. Or that my tastes for movement have become perversely odd.

It's been very possible to do things in rehearsal, I feel as if I could do things all day long. And that my own interests are more and more about doing things as an end in itself. It's the making of things that becomes a bit bemusing.

I would like to just be able to do things, as the purpose and result.
But maybe just doing things, is not quantifiable enough for making theatre?

There is a question forming for me, about what the organising principle(s) are. The Modus operindi. How behavior is produced or appropriated. Where does desire, appetite, or need reside? Or are these qualities necessary or appropriate?

Maybe some of all this, is about being a 51 year old performer. And as such, will find a place in the fabric this new work?

Aurora in Poland, waiting.

My skin is stretching

I can’t find the right position

I feel her moving

I want you to understand

I want to remove myself from my body

I need the dress

I need the light

She is still

I expose my body

The blood is taken,

I’m being touched, pushed, torn, looked inside

The light is on

I don’t need it

She does not need it.

Aurora- More reflections on May rehearsals

Split between what I want to do, what I am asked to do and what I am able to do

Knowing my limits how can I still go on.

Drawing, erasing.

Moving, forgetting.

Talking, bad accent.

Loving and questioning the set, the aesthetic, the fragmentation,

Looking for inspiration, lines, books, pictures, poeple

Piles of used and clean white paper

It’s not enough

Can I feel it like I used to?

Can I be emotional and dramatic?

It’s not always about what you feel, Aurora.

How you feel things it’s not always the best way forward is it?

Sometimes you have to stick to the script haven’t you?

What script?

I need more direction.

What do you want to say?

What language to use?

A manifesto, a list, a dance.

More and no more

45 minutes

We will see later.

Aurora's Reflections on May rehearsals

First week

I arrive

I have energy

I climb the hill

I feel excited

I move quite a lot

We talk

It’s great to work face to face with Charlotte

Second week

I feel less capable

I am more tired

I climb the hill slowly

I have to lie dawn

I meet Gail and improvise with her

I spend good time with Alex and Harold

Third week

I lie down

I read more books

I work

My head is getting bigger and more confused

I climb the hill step by step

I shout a lot

Charlotte too

Last day

I am pleased with the work and the process

Good hearing feedback from Jane, Katie, Ruth and Charlotte

We have some material “ to cut from” later

I climb the hill to get back

I fly home

Patrycja's Thoughts 7 July 2009

Chronologic life line, drawn badly on the gigantic black board.

Quickly choosing important...or not important, but memorable- sometimes for random

reasons - events of my life

Why would I want to share it with other people

Who would be interested?...voyeurism

teasing with/ magnifying/ diminishing certain snapshots from my childhood lesson of the day - seeing someone else's graphic interpretation of your life on the board can be overwhelming- too late to reframe, use different words, highlight (or HIDE) other-maybe more meaningful moments.....It's all printed, WHITE ON BLACK (no shades, no greyness allowed)

pictorial simplicity speaks for itself.

There 's no way back, deal with it it's like scares on the skin, you've earned them

wear them with pride.

Sunday Shifts

PERSISTENCE WORKS in Sheffield.

An apt name.

An 11 hour day for Chris, Eike, Matt and Gris.

Only 7 hours for me.

3 hours for PK and Scott.

Not that I am counting.

We now have a home for the next three months.

It is one metre too small, width wise.

Not that I am counting.

We have a high wall that may be too high.

We have a soft floor that may be too soft.

But at least I can see the space clearly.

And here there is natural light and some air and a sink that doesn't stink.

Here we are surrounded by craftspeople - sculptors, silversmiths, painters - and I feel good about that.

Scott and PK

No name checking.

A culture clash.

Disposability.

Ambivalence.

What do we carry forward and what do we leave behind?

Embodying the transitory nature of dance - the fleeting relationships, the fallings in love, the intensity of touring. Are we getting too old for all this?

Maybe we don't get attached to the material but to the experience.

Are all performers manic depressives?

Lets just go for broke here.

Is the fear of underachieving what drives us?

I am so tired I can hardly stand up.

I am on fire tonight.

I AM BURNING OUT.

I am melting in front of you.

The moments pass.

Why would I ask people to look at me?

Why would I do that?

Is this shitty?

Am I dying up here?

I cant remember much.

I need the video.

PK - 'Sometimes when you push it, push it, its just around the corner... Sothing is brewing under the surface we just need a tool to unpack it.'

SS - What about waiting?

What do you think would make this better?

PACK DOWN. We will build a new space on Sunday.

Patrycja and Scott 2 July 2009

Oh it is good to have you back, PK.

Scott again

A catalogue of anecdotes.

Forgetting the years.

Logging your life through a haze of memories and places.

Your body does not remember.

'I can't hardly dance anymore'.

You like to sing the blues.

Country Music.

Kansas.

Scott 1 July 2009

Breakdown.

Listening.

Shut up and listen.

Why do you never speak?

I never know what you are thinking.

Shut up and listen.

Watching behaviours.

The work does not have to define the performer.

How to widen the appeal of the work - what are our universal themes?

Where is the edge and how fierce is it?

Week 4: Scott, 30th June 2009

Dance is a bastard form of music.

Direct address.

What key is this in?

Is this romantic and abstract?

One thing following another rather than one thing leading to another.

Less drama more action.

Interlude. Practice. Punk Rock.

Pendulums.

I need to start at the beginning

Acts of translation.

Non linear editing process.

Architecture of the space.

Choreography is the space, the objects in it and the light - no dancing.

Chalkboard Wall

16 June 2009

The floor area for IWGO is 10 x 8 metres. I meet set builder David Shakiran to discuss a freestanding chalkboard wall, as mocked up from old sets in Sheffield Independent Film for Aurora's rehearsals. We decide to design it so it can stand 4 metres high x 9 metres wide in middle scale venues, and shrink to 3 metres high x 8 metres wide in smaller venues. Good to be versatile on tour. I anticipate no entrances and exits form the wings - only from behind this wall. In smaller venues there will only be around 1 metre behind the chalkboard wall to the back wall of the theatre space. I hope everyone gets on - its going to be a bit of a squash back there.

15 June 2009

We are hiring Bare Bones Dance Company's truss to create a semi-soundproofed, softened studio space within a larger concrete studio space in Sheffield for the majority of the IWGO rehearsals. Persistence Works is a fine art and crafts studio complex just up the road from VDT's office at the Workstation in Sheffield's Cultural Quarter. We are currently planning for a get in there on 5th May, after one more brief week of devising with Scott Smith at Sheffield Independent Film studio. Chris Umney and Eike Schraeder are our Production Managers, Sound and Lighting Technicians for the tour. Chris was Production Manager for Double Vision, a duet with Liz Aggiss I made earlier this year - he is hugely experienced and is fantastic, calming presence on tour. Eike has been involved in Production Management at the Staatheater Wiesbaden in Germany for many years and has recently moved to Kent to set up Shraeder Umney Production and Design Company with Chris: www.schraeder-umney.com. Oh, and they are getting married in July.

11 June 2009

Today I met Jane Faram, VDT's new part-time Administrator, who will be involved in much of the scheduling and transport/ accommodation needs for the cast and crew involved with the IWGO tour. She also works part time at Site Gallery, Sheffield, who have commissioned VDT in the past, so thats a good link.

Aurora Working

Week 3 - Consolidation

18 - 22 May 2009

A series of microdances

Stolen material

Lost and Found

A nervous number

A sighing dance

Re- enactment

Footsteps and traces

Subtraction

Rant

Enigma Text

Lights on and off

When you're ready

Contortion

Being Marlena - I need a light

Being Pina - I need a dress

Being Yoko Ono - Hide until everyone leaves you.

No more dancing

No to putting my word's into other people's mouths

Manifestos and Protocols for middle age

Trying things on for size

Friday sharing with Ruth as Dramaturg - a reassuring presence

A flight home to Poland

A sigh of relief

A get out

If we go on and on and on and on and on.....

Week 2 - Aurora and Alex

14 May 2009
Alex was formally offered the work of Composer/ Cellist for IWGO.

Whilst he was over from Costa Rica, he and Aurora played with recreating George Kuchar's I, AN ACTRESS (1977) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOXpDCkOiCo

A terrible idea, really, but well worth a go just for comic value. A relief to have another person in the studio. Making solo work is a very intense process for performer and director. We also developed a manifesto for IWGO - the things we are no longer prepared to tolerate in performance.

Much discussion around invisible scores, how to reveal the mechanics of what we are doing on stage as we are doing it, how to structure 8 distinct journeys through the piece in to a coherent whole so it doesn't just become a variety show, direct address as a form, how to piece together the collective urge to continue. Central question: what is it that I am trying to say in this work?

Week 2 - Cellist Workshop

Thanks to everyone who took part in the Cellist Workshop 13th May 2009

Design Mock Up / Aurora Chair Solo

If We Go On, Devising Week 1

4th May 2009
Aurora Lubos arrives from Poland to start work on If We Go On, 7 and a half months pregnant and ready to get stuck in.
We are working in Sheffield Independent Film. It rains a lot. I cycle to work. We talk a lot. We play with Wendy Houstoun's text. It's a new way of working but as Aurora cant move a whole lot, its useful to have a different stimulus. I get very heady, intellectual and structural. My partner builds and together we rig 9 bare light bulbs hanging over the space in a 3x3 grid. I think this, a few chairs, some technical kit and a chalkboard back wall might be the 'design' of the piece. NO TO SEDUCTION. NO TO FICTION. NO TO DRESSING THINGS UP. I arrange things so that all the sound and lighting is all operated from the stage. We play with drawing scoring and writing on the chalk wall at the back of the space - its too familiar an aesthetic, but the wall looks beautifully textural when the drawing has been rubbed out. Aurora needs to lie down at lunch times and rest her growing belly.