I’ve only realised that we‘ve only got 7 shows left, before the spring tour finishes. The nature of this tour (big gaps between performances) makes me feel like every time we do it it’s a little premiere. It will soon be over, before I even could say that I KNOW everything about this show.
I’ve learned that although one performance doesn’t change much from another (well -it inevitably varies- as this is a nature of live art) even tiny alterations of tempo, tone, colour, way of approaching one’s activity seem to have massive impact on the overall picture. It’s a fragile organism. Although I aim to be as consistent as I can, there is an ongoing dialog with myself how far can I go – i.e reacting intuitively to audience responses – without bringing the damage to the structure. (A mischievous little desires to REALLY confront one or another member of the public and ask :“Is this shitty?” or “I’m melting in front of you- how does it make you feel?” “Shut up and listen!”…forth wall? What forth wall…
All the texts I deliver on stage, no matter if they are written by Wendy, or Scott, became mine, in a funny sense that I have to remind myself that –as Janusz says in show “these words are not mine”.
During each show I develop a special- one off, mini relationship with the audience. My role is to communicate between US and THEM, I spend lots of time looking into their eyes, observing. I sympathise with them at times, occasionally becoming one of them to observe my own actions. It depends on the night and who came to watch us, and what vibe they send towards us, my feelings towards public fluctuates between sense of joy of serving them something they probably didn’t expect, masochistic pleasure of seeing their confusion, satisfaction…or relief if they “get it”. Equipped with confidence I storm onto the stage, only to experience a wave of doubt. A difference between FEELING and ACTING doubt.
“I ‘m real”
“There isn’t such a thing as being real on the stage”
(?)
For a split second I might feel slightly superior…or even angry or disappointed, thinking If We Go On is really NOT THAT EDGY…so what’s the fuss… I‘m curious what American audiences will make of it all.
Monday 22 February 2010
Thursday 18 February 2010
Scott's Thoughts - Feb 2010
Recently, it has seemed that there has been a need to inject some new (old?) questions into the working process, as we have been challenged by audiences, size of venue, repetition, and familiarity among other things.
We played a very large (for us) theatre last week, and there was some concern about the work getting far enough off of the stage to read in the further reaches of the house. It seems we won’t have big houses to deal with often, so perhaps, the concern will dissipate again for a while. I have gotten more practice in delivering to a smaller group of audience, that I can comprehend in front of me of an evening...
I have been thinking that this work asks an audience to consider their very own personal relationship to the events on stage or in the theatre. There are events that have happened during shows, audience leaving during the pauses on stage, or directing questions at the players, or leaving the theatre. I feel a bit like we have opened up a smallish can of worms asking people to think. And if what we have made is an object?
Is the object mutable? Plastic?
Who are the appropriate persons to mutate the object?
The players, the audience, the director, the writer, dramaturge, etc?
Is the object mutable? And if so, what are the contingencies?
Are we acting?
Is acting more or less appropriate to the work? In what measure?
During the run of this production, I have begun to notice a kind of angst arising in my performance. Irony is maybe a difficult quality to sustain, without giving in to its darker side. It’s probably more practical to love an audience, than to hate an audience.
Look at me just look at me.
Don’t look at me, just don’t look at me.
The new production crew is good. Kick back and let them do it good.
The tour is full of holes. Holes in the schedule. Its a different kind of tour. I come home often. There is plenty to do.
People/the public seem to be finding things in the work to ponder, some of them. Others ponder other things. What people like, what people dislike.
I think the work wanted to ask some questions of conventions. The rub, has caused some heat, here and there.
I can’t tell if we are hip. Or not.
Depends on who you ask.
At any rate,
Thank God she went on. It has changed our lives, forever.
We played a very large (for us) theatre last week, and there was some concern about the work getting far enough off of the stage to read in the further reaches of the house. It seems we won’t have big houses to deal with often, so perhaps, the concern will dissipate again for a while. I have gotten more practice in delivering to a smaller group of audience, that I can comprehend in front of me of an evening...
I have been thinking that this work asks an audience to consider their very own personal relationship to the events on stage or in the theatre. There are events that have happened during shows, audience leaving during the pauses on stage, or directing questions at the players, or leaving the theatre. I feel a bit like we have opened up a smallish can of worms asking people to think. And if what we have made is an object?
Is the object mutable? Plastic?
Who are the appropriate persons to mutate the object?
The players, the audience, the director, the writer, dramaturge, etc?
Is the object mutable? And if so, what are the contingencies?
Are we acting?
Is acting more or less appropriate to the work? In what measure?
During the run of this production, I have begun to notice a kind of angst arising in my performance. Irony is maybe a difficult quality to sustain, without giving in to its darker side. It’s probably more practical to love an audience, than to hate an audience.
Look at me just look at me.
Don’t look at me, just don’t look at me.
The new production crew is good. Kick back and let them do it good.
The tour is full of holes. Holes in the schedule. Its a different kind of tour. I come home often. There is plenty to do.
People/the public seem to be finding things in the work to ponder, some of them. Others ponder other things. What people like, what people dislike.
I think the work wanted to ask some questions of conventions. The rub, has caused some heat, here and there.
I can’t tell if we are hip. Or not.
Depends on who you ask.
At any rate,
Thank God she went on. It has changed our lives, forever.
Janusz's Blog Feb 2010
The spring tour of If We Go On has been met with a few changes. Well, maybe not that many - most important I think is that we have a new technical team - Dom Martin and Nik Kennedy. We are still the same cast of performers, still touring with two lovely, little kids of Aurora’s, still facing up to the fragile nature of the work. Those who saw it, know what I am talking about, Those who did not, should make their way to the theatre to see it. It is a brave show, a very good antidote to what is usually shown in dance, especially in UK. People often say that they prefer "the other" VDT works. It does not surprise me - we all want what we already know, what we are familiar with. It is safe, comfortable, nice. Well, I can only say it makes me proud that we, as company, took a risk and put on a different show.
I think that the experience at British Dance Edition in Birmingham was by far one of the most strange, exciting and memorable (not an easy show to do in a venue like the Birmingham Rep Theatre, with such a big auditorium). The audience (most of them were delegates and promoters) began leaving the auditorium 10 minutes before the show actually ended. Quite scary, but at the same time an exciting thing to see in front of your eyes. And while we were still going and Patrycja began to say her last (very important) words in the show, some of them turned and came back to their seats, some stopped, turned and listed, some left anyway. What a happening!
Remember the words of a lady who came to me after the show and said: "As long as I live on this earth, I always thought that the sign to clap and leave the theatre was when the houselights are on".
I think that the experience at British Dance Edition in Birmingham was by far one of the most strange, exciting and memorable (not an easy show to do in a venue like the Birmingham Rep Theatre, with such a big auditorium). The audience (most of them were delegates and promoters) began leaving the auditorium 10 minutes before the show actually ended. Quite scary, but at the same time an exciting thing to see in front of your eyes. And while we were still going and Patrycja began to say her last (very important) words in the show, some of them turned and came back to their seats, some stopped, turned and listed, some left anyway. What a happening!
Remember the words of a lady who came to me after the show and said: "As long as I live on this earth, I always thought that the sign to clap and leave the theatre was when the houselights are on".
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