Friday 30 April 2010

Thoughts from America- Aurora


The line in Broken Chords "can we go on now?" leads towards "If We Go On". Interruptions towards rebellion. Stopping and starting. Remembering moments from previous shows. Creating while performing. There is not a smooth structure. You can switch off and on more and more easily. Both of the shows end up being very emotional, but IWGO gives you the distance, you can look at the picture, the emotions, you can frame them, there is no need to sink into them. In IWGO there is more room for play, for mistakes, for being who you are. Questioning and saying "No to Bach, partner work, emotional catharsis..." followed next night by performing Broken Chords gives more understanding to what the game is in IWGO. There is the game in the show itself but also there is a dialogue between Broken Chords and If We Go On.

This is the straw that break the camel's back - this camel is not taking any more straws


I started making If We Go On (IWGO) in May 2009, designing and planning and thinking, and was soon joined by a heavily pregnant Aurora to start making the work, before giving birth. A year later, having toured the UK with Aurora's two children for two seasons, we are just finishing a tour of three venues in another continent - New Jersey and Pittsburgh in the States and Ottowa, Canada at the National Arts Centre.

At Montclair State University's Alexander Kaisser Theatre in New Jersey we performed IWGO and Broken Chords, the latter requiring a huge amount of re-rehearsal as four new performers joined the cast and Janusz learnt Lee Clayden's role. Fernanda Prata, Luisa Lazzaro, Harry Theaker and Kip Johnson joined the VDT cast - and all of them have done a fantastic job. With Scott Smith, Carly Best its a very big, very strong and experienced group of performers doing two shows in one venue.

Sitting watching IWGO one night and Broken Chords (made in 2005) the next evening I am struck by the similarities and the differences between the two works. IWGO is undoubtedly darker, more fractured, more challenging, less easy on the eye. It circles around itself, goes nowhere and everywhere, confounds expectations, pisses people off, shakes you, bores you, makes you sit up and listen, makes you marvel at the skill of the performers involved.

I love watching Harry move - he hasn't danced like this for years and it suits him. He is truly versatile and is as connected with his movement instinct at 42 as he was when he was 22. It just takes his body more time to remember stuff!

I love watching Carly and Janusz battle it out in their duet - aggressively slamming each other against the wall, providing themselves with their own soundtrack through Alex's feedback loop. Carly is like dynamite- wound up, exquisite, precise, committed, present.

I love hearing the sounds that emerge from Alex and his cello- the hardcore thwacking, the beautifully round waves of sound, the woody baseline, the moments where my full attention is on strings being drawn and bent and pushed and pulled in and out of shape. In his hands the cello is most beautiful and most ugly and I relish it all. His fingers dance throughout the show.

I love the drawl of Scott's voice, the pace quickening, the pace slowing, the irony pushing through, the instinctual movements and shifts in tone and song in the way he plays it, in the way he moves. And he plays it differently every night. He plays a mean clarinet and mouth organ too.

I could watch Aurora being Pina Bausch (or Marina Abramovic, or just herself) forever. She lilts and tilts and droops and holds onto an internal world as though her life depends on it. She is lovely and clever and magical to watch as the musicians swell the sound around her and pull her into and out of a scene of her own making. She commands the stage - subtle, tiny but always so present.

I watch Janusz with admiration, speaking, questioning, faltering, adjusting, refusing, slowly bowing out. But I have a feeling he'll be back for more dancing. After all this I am ready to see him move again- Broken Chords has reminded me (in his duets with Luisa) how watchable he is when he is physically on fire.

I witness Patrycja reigning in her energy, suppressing it, controlling it only to let it scream out at points in the show where nothing else will do. She is both primal and controlled. You feel the visceral pleasure of the words in her mouth as she glues the show together with Wendy Houstoun's more risque texts, texts that question everything, texts that give away all she has to give. When she hits the mark, she sends shivers up my spine.

Most of all though -heightened by seeing this work on foreign soil, alongside the piece that made the company's name 5 years ago- I feel enormous pride in the ensemble, in us all having the balls to try something new. I thank the admin team at home for making this happen and the group for trusting me enough to follow this path.

I feel very uncertain as to what can be next after so much questioning, but with some time off this will emerge and unfold as it always does and I will start to make phone calls to these talented, committed collaborators. "Hey, I've had this idea I think we should try...."